2020年5月,靠着众筹来的500多美元,《Ato》艰难登陆STEAM。仅在两个月后,在Discord群组“Tiny Warrior Games”(也就是制作人Brandon Song 一人工作室)中,Brandon的好友发了讣告:Brandon因抑郁,不幸离世。(当时我是通过老迷的微博得知这件事的。)
Hello and thank you for playing this game?
你好,感谢你游玩这个游戏?
I don't know how you got here, but if you did, I can only hope you played through Frog Hop
我并不知道你是怎么看到这段文字的,我只希望你是打通了《Frog Hop》才看到的。
Frog Hop is a game that is close to me, and it has been very hard feeling proud of it...
虽然《Frog Hop》于我关系密切,但我还是很难为它感到骄傲。
Weird I know, but seeing how no one really notices this game, I can only hope that people will appreciate this game.
我知道这很奇怪,事实就是没有人关注它,而我唯一能做的就是希望有人能喜欢这个游戏。
Developing this game has been difficult, and often times I have felt alone and haven't really known of anyone in real life who really shared the same experiences that I have.
游戏开发困难重重,并且在大部分时间我感到孤单,不知道在现实生活中谁能真正与我分担。
Perhaps you didn't enjoy this game or maybe you did?
也许你不喜欢这个游戏,也许你喜欢?
I have so many dreams when I look into the future, I can only hope that maybe I'll fulfill at least one.
当我看向未来,我有如此多的梦想,我只能期许至少有一个能实现。
Too many games to create, too many universes to build, too many projects that will be abandoned and forgotten.
太多的游戏被制作完成,太多的宇宙被搭建起来,但又有那么多的项目被抛弃、遗忘。
It is hard looking towards the future, I more anxious and worried that things will not work out or that I wasted my life making this game.
想到这些,展望未来又变成了一件困难的事情,我是如此焦虑,担心自己无法完成作品,也许做这些游戏只是在虚度人生。
Seeing other developers and comparing myself has been a destructive practice,
看看其他开发者的经历,再对比自己的遭遇,我只能看到灾难性的现实,
Hard work does not equal success.
努力创作从不等同于成功。
So please, if you seriously with all your heart commit to something and work yourself to tears, please try to approach things realistically and not believe all the hype.
所以,如果你认真想将自己的全部心力投入到一项事业中,为完成它不惜代价,那么请试着现实地对待这件事情,不要相信所有浮躁、浮夸的东西。
Not everyone becomes successful, so you have to try and make goals that are actually possible, don't strive for x number of views or followers.
不是所有人都会成功,所以你得尝试,制定切实可行的目标,但不要追求阅读量或关注数据这类数字。
Try to reach for something that is doable. even today, keep it simple, make it realistic, can you do what you want to do today?
只要努力去完成力所能及的事情。今天也是如此,简单有效,实事求是,今天你是在做自己想做的事情吗?
To be honest, I hardly work on this game as a fulltime job, often I feel guilty because I'm not putting enough hard work or enough hours.
说心里话,我很难将开发游戏作为全职工作看待,我经常感到内疚,我不够努力,不够全情投入。
But You can' say that to yourself anymore, it's just not worth it, you have to go at your own pace, or else you will burn yourself out and hate what you have created.
但你不能让自己抱有这样的想法,这种毫无价值的想法,你必须找到自己的步调,或是转而将自己燃烧殆尽,开始憎恨自己的创作。
Be passionate about what you create, but please be warned that everyone is super excited about making whatever idea they just came up with.
对于你的创作要保有热情,也要警惕,“拍脑袋”是所有人都喜欢做的事情,那些刚刚冒出来的想法总是让人过分的激动。
have a good plan, and have a good contingency plan, because likelihood is that things will not go according to plan.
制定一个好的计划,再有一个好的备选方案,因为事实不会根据计划发展。
when I worked on Frog hop...I used to believe that I could make a game that could get a perfect score. but Now I've learned so much through the years.
在制作《Frog Hop》之初,我一度认为我将完成一部满分作品。但,现在回望这些年,我真的学习了很多。
When you're outside seeing all these games, it's very easy to point out problems and at times it can be very easy to come up with solutions, but often times the solution that are implemented aren't always going to work.
当你作为一个局外人审视那些游戏时,挑毛病是如此简单,甚至有时提出解决方案也同样简单,不过这些解决方案大部分时候并不会奏效。
I used tothink that my ideas were great and that I was going to be appreciated and loved by others for what I made.
曾经,我自认想出的点子是如此的好,我的作品注定会被人们赞赏,被喜爱。
But after all that has happened, it's clear that I could be wasting my life doing this.
但在经历了这一切后,很明显,我做这些可能只是在虚度人生。
It's extremely hard to finish a game, that's usually where alot of developers quit, because it's just so difficult, and you just hate what you're making, you're tired of being here working on something that could have been a waste of time.
完成一款游戏的开发是如此的困难,经常有大量的开发者退出,因为做游戏就是这么难,而你开始讨厌自己的作品,你已经厌倦了那些可能只是浪费时间的劳作。
Was frog hop a waste of time? It's not perfect, because I've learned that everyone has their own experience.
所以,《Frog Hop》是浪费时间吗?它并不完美,我意识到每个人的游戏体验是不同的。
Some will say that one boss was harder than another one. Some will complain about something that's fun, some will complain about how it's doesn't look the way they want it to.
有人会说这个波士比另一个要难打。有人会说有些地方很有趣,但也会有人说这并不是他们想要的。
was it worth it?
这真的有价值吗?
the only goal I really initally said for myself was to make a small game that I could finish, and enjoy playing.
最初,我给自己订了唯一的目标,就是做一款我能够完成的小规模游戏,并且玩起来有趣。
I will admit, I had a lot of fun when I had a very cohesive alpha of this game, and I still find it's mechanics to be very enjoyable, despite how stupidly simple the game is.
必须承认,alpha测试展现出游戏系统有很好的统一性,这让我很开心,直到现在我也认为,在技术上,这是一件很享受的事情,尽管游戏系统简单到有些愚蠢的地步。
I used to spend a few hours on the first world, just using all the tricks in the game and just letting my imagination run wild and I would think of worlds that would eventually be made, new encounters, fun gimmicks, new toys.
有时,我会花上好几个小时只玩游戏的“第一个世界”,用上所有游戏中的技巧,随心所意、穷极想象地花式过关,同时构思我要完成的关卡,新的遭遇战,有趣的诡计,新的玩具。
Thinking maybe this would be a game I would feel very proud of.
同时,想象这个游戏会是一个我引以为傲的作品。
But the standards have changed, and alot of what I have been doing just isn't relevant. Often it is also just hard to even anticipate the chaotic nature of success, how should I know that whatever I add will become revolutionary?
但,标准改变了,我所做大量的工作是没有意义的。大部分时候,成功的规律如此混乱,让人难以捉摸,我该如何确信每一个新添加的内容都会是一个有效的创新?
Is it worth become revolutionary?
是否有必要做一个创新者?
when all of it will disappear into nothingness?
当所有一切的努力都注定付诸东流时,这是否有必要?
To be honest, I almost don't believe in this game anymore, I just wanted to finish this. maybe rethink my life and pursue something else.
说心里话,我几乎不再期待这个游戏了,我只想把它做完。也许我该重新思考自己的人生,去追寻些其他东西。
Or somehow meet other people, or start a new project
或者以某种方式遇到另一群人,或者开始一个新的项目。
but even starting a new game has me worried, and I know that the same cycle will repeat.
只是,光开始一个新游戏的制作就使我焦虑,我知道同样的循环又将重复。
It is very easy to start a game, it is very easy to write down ideas on a piece of paper, it is very easy to have fun with making a prototype.
开始做游戏很容易,在一张纸上写下点子很容易,开开心心地做个游戏原型也很容易。
Finishing a game, truly a task that has me in awe when I see people in my situation create something far greater than me and at such incredible efficiency.
但完成一个游戏,实在是一项让我敬畏的工作,特别是在我看到了有与我相同境遇的人,以难以置信的效率做出品质远胜于我的作品后。
Am I just inadequate? despite all these talents? Am I just not able to work long hours? I can hardly stay focused for more than a few hours.
我丧失信心了吗?所以他们都是天才吗?只是因为我没办法长时间地工作?确实,我只能集中精神几个小时。
Was I just born with the wrong skills? What if I was just born with skills that are more useful in life and easier to obtain a job in?
是我被赋予了错误的天赋?如果我拥有对于人生更加有用的天赋,或者是更容易胜任工作的天赋,会如何?
Frog Hop, is my first sellable game, and I have learned so much throughout the years as I've made this game.
《Frog Hop》,是我第一个可以售卖的游戏,而我自始至终在这个游戏的制作过程中受益匪浅。
I've learned so much about myself, about art, game development, design, people, media, markets and success.
我学到了很多,有关我自己,有关美术,游戏开发,设计,人群,媒体,市场,以及成功。
And to think I am supposedly in control of my own destiny.
从这方面想,可能我真正掌握了自己的命运。
Maybe all of this will just be a forgotten memory within a millenium?
也许所有的这些也只是时间长河中注定被遗忘的记忆。
Perhaps these thoughts are best ended here.
可能,这些胡思乱想最好在此终结了。
Frog Hop, a game where I put years of my life into. Who knows how well it will do. Even I'm unsure what I even want anymore.
《Frog Hop》,是一款我耗费数年开发的游戏。谁知道我做到了哪种程度。甚至连我自己都不知道我想要做到哪种程度。
Frog Hop, a journey of a frog named hoppy who searched for his friend jumpy.
《Frog Hop》,一只名为蹦蹦的青蛙,寻找他的朋友跳跳的冒险。
maybe I at least helped hoppy find happiness.
至少,我帮助蹦蹦找到了幸福。
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